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Leafs Schedule 2009/2010
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thursday, September 18, 2008
ONLY TWO HOCKEY TEAMS MATTER
Only two teams matter...Let's be honest..
Only ONE hockey team in the NHL has ever mattered, and that is the Toronto Maple Leafs.
The folks down south have never cared about hockey. Actually, that's not totally true.... Americans did show some interest for about 4 days back in 1980 during the Olympics. There was that burst of patriotic fever when the USA beat the 'powerful' Finish team in the finals, after having having edged the Soviets in the semis (it seems like they kinda forgot that the best hockey players in the world - the pros from Canada - were not eligible to compete at the Games... but let us not let facts get in the way of patriotic zeal.. USA USA USA!!).
The point is that that momentary appreciation of hockey quickly subsided, and most American fans quickly turned their attention to more important things... like watching inbreds from NASCAR like Dale Earnhardt pile up on top of each other in heaps of automotive carnage... or waiting for the next glimpse of Britney Spears in the nude.
Even older fans of the original American teams grew up supporting and cheering for Canadian players who were mostly from Ontario. Most of these players, of course, were inspired to get into hockey by following the Leafs while growing up.
That leaves for consideration the remaining Canadian teams. Over the next few posts, I will be examining Ottawa, Montreal, Calgary/Edmonton (I consider them to be one "Alberta" team), in greater detail. I won't waste time with Vancouver, because let's face it.. who really cares about Vancouver?? It's a wonderful vacation spot.. but the Canucks? Come on.. let's be real.
In today's post, let us take the time to consider our beaver tail-eating friends from the nation's taxation centre.. the Ottawa Senators...
It is clear that Ottawa is a few seasons away from losing its team altogether. The city simply isn't big enough or 'major league' enough to hold on to its hockey franchise. If it wasn't for Leaf fans making the voyage up to Kanata and buying up the many tickets for sale to watch the Senators get their butts kicked by the Buds, their building would be half empty most of the time. The Sens had their chance to win a Cup.. and they choked. They choked bigger than Jo Lo's behind. I predict that the long term effect on the franchise will be the same as the Expos failing to win the World Series during the strike year in MLB. Can you say "Las Vegas Senators"? Maybe they can play out of Cesar's palace in between Celine Dion sets??.
Have you seen a REAL Ottawa Senator play hockey? On average, they are 103 years old, take long naps in Parliament (when they show up), and give off a distinct smell of stale urine (much like Madonna after a night out on the town). Confronted with this embarrassing fact, the folks in Ottawa changed their original logo. It is now a constipated-looking ROMAN Senator. Talk about trying to pull a fast one!!! I'm not an expert in ancient history, but I'm pretty sure Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, not the Rideau Canal. At least it's not as bad as the Mad Cow on Buffalo's jersey.
The Senators have had a few winning regular seasons over the past decade or so (before losing - most often to the Leafs - in the playoffs). Let us not forget however, that these 'winning' seasons stemmed from historically bad years, the result of which was that they were given the opportunity to pick early 1st round draft picks over and over again (see A. Yashin.... isn't he starring in amature porn, now?).
It is only a matter of time before the Sens pay for their 'success' and once again fall deep into the standings. When that happens, which will probably be around the time Hanna Montana has her second teenage pregnancy.... watch as their arena empties out.. and watch how the moving vans will circle... watch as each player puts up his lovely snow-covered house for sale on MLS.
Please feel free to leave me your comments, and let me know your prediction as to when you think the Senators will be up for sale on Ebay.
Until next time... GO LEAFS GO!
Only ONE hockey team in the NHL has ever mattered, and that is the Toronto Maple Leafs.
The folks down south have never cared about hockey. Actually, that's not totally true.... Americans did show some interest for about 4 days back in 1980 during the Olympics. There was that burst of patriotic fever when the USA beat the 'powerful' Finish team in the finals, after having having edged the Soviets in the semis (it seems like they kinda forgot that the best hockey players in the world - the pros from Canada - were not eligible to compete at the Games... but let us not let facts get in the way of patriotic zeal.. USA USA USA!!).
The point is that that momentary appreciation of hockey quickly subsided, and most American fans quickly turned their attention to more important things... like watching inbreds from NASCAR like Dale Earnhardt pile up on top of each other in heaps of automotive carnage... or waiting for the next glimpse of Britney Spears in the nude.
Even older fans of the original American teams grew up supporting and cheering for Canadian players who were mostly from Ontario. Most of these players, of course, were inspired to get into hockey by following the Leafs while growing up.
That leaves for consideration the remaining Canadian teams. Over the next few posts, I will be examining Ottawa, Montreal, Calgary/Edmonton (I consider them to be one "Alberta" team), in greater detail. I won't waste time with Vancouver, because let's face it.. who really cares about Vancouver?? It's a wonderful vacation spot.. but the Canucks? Come on.. let's be real.
In today's post, let us take the time to consider our beaver tail-eating friends from the nation's taxation centre.. the Ottawa Senators...
It is clear that Ottawa is a few seasons away from losing its team altogether. The city simply isn't big enough or 'major league' enough to hold on to its hockey franchise. If it wasn't for Leaf fans making the voyage up to Kanata and buying up the many tickets for sale to watch the Senators get their butts kicked by the Buds, their building would be half empty most of the time. The Sens had their chance to win a Cup.. and they choked. They choked bigger than Jo Lo's behind. I predict that the long term effect on the franchise will be the same as the Expos failing to win the World Series during the strike year in MLB. Can you say "Las Vegas Senators"? Maybe they can play out of Cesar's palace in between Celine Dion sets??.
Have you seen a REAL Ottawa Senator play hockey? On average, they are 103 years old, take long naps in Parliament (when they show up), and give off a distinct smell of stale urine (much like Madonna after a night out on the town). Confronted with this embarrassing fact, the folks in Ottawa changed their original logo. It is now a constipated-looking ROMAN Senator. Talk about trying to pull a fast one!!! I'm not an expert in ancient history, but I'm pretty sure Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, not the Rideau Canal. At least it's not as bad as the Mad Cow on Buffalo's jersey.
The Senators have had a few winning regular seasons over the past decade or so (before losing - most often to the Leafs - in the playoffs). Let us not forget however, that these 'winning' seasons stemmed from historically bad years, the result of which was that they were given the opportunity to pick early 1st round draft picks over and over again (see A. Yashin.... isn't he starring in amature porn, now?).
It is only a matter of time before the Sens pay for their 'success' and once again fall deep into the standings. When that happens, which will probably be around the time Hanna Montana has her second teenage pregnancy.... watch as their arena empties out.. and watch how the moving vans will circle... watch as each player puts up his lovely snow-covered house for sale on MLS.
Please feel free to leave me your comments, and let me know your prediction as to when you think the Senators will be up for sale on Ebay.
Until next time... GO LEAFS GO!
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